Posts tagged stand up comedy

I’m looking for a talented web-designer that’s into stand up comedy to possibly go in on a project with me (assuming I can sell you on it).

and you better not fucking mark zuckerberg me.

Story Time: Cape in the Wind

When I was around 10 years old I was the first of my friends to make the life changing realization that beach towels make far better capes than bath towels. Especially ones with batman symbols. The imaginary crime fighting game was about to be changed. 

I was the only one in the neighborhood with a cape that drug on the ground behind me, not great for round house kicks but very fear inspiring to my arch nemesis.

I decided it was time to let her fly so I hopped on my Schwinn Phantom Scrambler and took off down the street. 

As I imagined how cool I must of looked with my cape fluttering behind me I decided to turn back only to watch my cape get caught in the rear wheel and flip me backwards by the neck. Surprisingly the safety pin held. Back then safety pins were durable and made by americans before little chinese kids started stealing our jobs and undercutting us.

So I got yanked backwards and flipped onto the ground, half of my cape sucked into the wheel and now caught in the chain.

With my cape still choking on my neck, unable to breath, brimming with tears… all I could think was, 

…don’t let them see you cry Ricky, not with your cape on… not with your cape on.

Note to self: I love you.

Signs that say - “Keep kids alive, Drive 25” - Should be replaced with “Drive intoxicated because the worlds over-populated.”